all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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