Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
