watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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