Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
