I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
did you just send me my own nude
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
