I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
