...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
