He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
