i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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