All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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