so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
