you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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