My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize