I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
