thus making me awesome and them whores
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
