Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
