it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
