I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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