you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
