Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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