This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
