That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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