worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I intend to get homeless drunk
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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