Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
