I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
