Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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