is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
