It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
