You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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