actually, I'm a sock model
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
