I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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