I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
