Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
