We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
