Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
