i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
