Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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