guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I skipped work to stalk him.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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