I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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