So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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