well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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