bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
