Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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