I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
