I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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