I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
nutella sex= disaster
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
