What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
