I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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