Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm really busy with my period
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