So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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