i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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