god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
